As I sit in my office looking out of the window I smile as I see the sun bounce off the trees. I am reminded that I need to be mindful. I need to just take a breath and contemplate life…
And that reminds I need to think about death, not in a morbid way, but in a way that leads to me to live the best life possible.
Like you, I have done many things in my life. Some that have scared me, some for pure enjoyment and some that were just thrown at me and I had to respond, and it is true to say I have learnt a lot and gained valuable experience. It has been colourful, emotional, exhilarating, exhausting and amazing.
So I started thinking about my funeral. A little morbid you may think, but not for me. I think it is a healthy part of life.
Do I really want to have a 20-minute ceremony at the crematorium, (for some this is absolutely perfect and I would still want this time to be amazing)?
The answer for me is NO. How could you possibly fit my imperfect but amazing life into 20 minutes? Not only that, why would I want have my ceremony in the crematorium? There are so many amazing places I could have it, just like a wedding ceremony.
Living on the Suffolk/Norfolk border my options are endless: beaches, woodlands, barns, hotels, lidos, gardens, bars, pubs. The world is your oyster.
I also do not want a cheaply made casket with plastic handles. I want a coffin with solid handles on the side, so my friend and family can carry me to my celebration of life ceremony. And I don’t want to say "does my bum look big in this?" as they struggle, carrying me on their shoulders.
And as for the car to transport me, I want colour and maybe some 90s dance music being pushed out of the speakers.
I want my funeral to be as colourful and unique as I am. I want music, singing, dancing, drinking, and eating. Lots of eating. A signature martini and cake, lots of cake.
I DO NOT WANT TO MISS IT. I would like to be at the venue surrounded by those I love. I want them to kiss the coffin, write notes to me, laugh, joke, say how wonderful I am, wish me well and of course maybe a few tears, as I travel to my spiritual wormhole. Wherever that may be.
Our lives need to be celebrated. When someone dies we know we will miss them, but you can keep their memory alive by talking about them, and talking to them. Wouldn’t it be great if you could reflect on their funeral as a day of joy, happiness, love and blessings? We have all been to funerals where we have thought that officiant didn't know the person, or that they would have rather been down the pub.
There is no judgement on those who choose to have a ceremony at a crematorium or a burial, as that will be right for them and their family. You can still have a beautiful ceremony that is a reflection of your loved one.
For some, what I want may feel disrespectful. That I have taken some of the reverence out of the ceremony and it is not a traditional funeral. I say, I have not had a traditional life so why would I want a traditional funeral?
We all deserve choice. We are all different so we make different choices. This is all possible and does not need to be expensive.
Before becoming a celebrant, I did not know there were other options. I cannot tell you how pleased I am to be able to truly offer you a ceremony that truly reflects your loved ones. If you would like to discuss your celebration of life or a ceremony for a family member, please contact me directly on 07956355735.
Much Love Jules x x